In her late forties Betty Hughes was utterly frustrated by the sheer meaninglessness
of life. She was a workaholic: this provided her with a goal and a channel for her
energy but her emotional life was a chaotic disaster. She seemed to be controlled
and manipulated by deeply laid patterns that had no cohesion. She seemed to have
no say whatsoever in regard to her feelings and responses, and, however hard she
tried, genuinely meaningful experiences and relationships eluded her.
This book started out as a therapeutic exercise that kept pace with her personal
journey. Each time she faced a blank wall in her therapeutic endeavour the manuscript
was flung aside: all meaning, purpose and relevance disappeared. She was back in
a state of doom and gloom: her past was irredeemable, her conflicts irreconcilable,
there was no energy in the project and no prospect of any rekindling of desire to
continue with the task. This blockade always had a ‘for ever’ element to it that
completely wiped out any hope of a meaningful outcome. Yet, there was always a very
stubborn, relentless, tenacious child self who refused to be put down or defeated.
This is her story – the story of her triumphant journey.